Calming Breathing Techniques You Can Practice With Your Child

It’s not just adults who tend to breathe shallowly when feeling stressed, anxious, or tense—children experience this too.

As adults, we’re often able to recognize our stress and have our own ways of calming down. Young children, however, may not yet have the words to express their feelings and might not even realize they’re stressed. That’s why it’s important for the adults around them to notice the signs of stress and respond early.

One simple and effective tool in such situations is deep breathing. Taking slow, deep breaths helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, guiding both the mind and body into a more relaxed state.

In this post, we’ll introduce several calming breathing techniques that even young children can try with you, including simple deep breathing, the Tanden breathing method, and the 4-7-8 breathing technique.

Causes of Stress

The stimuli that trigger stress are called stressors. Stressors can be divided into four main categories:

Physical Stressors
Environmental factors such as humidity, temperature, heat, cold, noise, and light.

Chemical Stressors
Exposure to substances like tobacco, alcohol, food additives, and pollutants.

Biological Stressors
Biological agents such as viruses, pollen, allergens, and pathogens.

Psychological and Social Stressors
Mental and emotional factors like family environment, relationships, anxiety about the future, anger, and sadness.

What Causes Stress in Children?

As mentioned earlier, stimuli that lead to stress are called stressors. But what kinds of things actually cause stress in children? Stress can range from large, intense events to smaller, ongoing situations that build up over time. In many cases, multiple factors may combine to create stress.

Examples of potential stressors for children include:

・Natural disasters such as earthquakes or typhoons
・Major life changes like starting preschool or elementary school
・Feeling unwell or dealing with their own health issues
・Arguments with friends
・After-school lessons or extracurricular activities
・The arrival of a new sibling
・Conflict within the family
・The return to school after a break, like on a Monday morning

Additionally, exposure to violent scenes on TV or video-sharing platforms, as well as playing games that contain violent or disturbing content, can also be stressors for children.

Recognizing the Signs of Stress in Children

Just like adults, children can experience a range of mental and physical symptoms when they are under stress—such as irritability or headaches. However, children often have a harder time realizing they are stressed, and they may struggle to put their feelings into words.

As a result, stress is more likely to manifest in their bodies and behavior. For example, a child complaining of a stomachache or showing less appetite than usual could be exhibiting signs of stress. It’s important for adults to notice these signs early and respond promptly.

Other common mental and physical signs of stress in children include:

Emotional Signs

・Heightened anxiety or nervousness
・Irritability and frequent outbursts of anger
・Loss of motivation
・Difficulty concentrating

Physical Signs

・Headaches
・Stomachaches
・Loss of appetite
・Trouble sleeping
・Worsening of allergy symptoms

The Impact of Ongoing Anxiety on Children

When feelings of anxiety persist over the long term, they can affect a child’s health and even their overall development. Potential impacts include:

・Weakened immune system due to poor sleep and reduced appetite, making them more susceptible to colds and other illnesses

・Lower self-esteem, leading to difficulty in valuing and caring for themselves

・Decline in communication and social skills

The Amazing Benefits of Deep Breathing

Breathing is something we do unconsciously every day, but it has a profound connection to our health. When we’re feeling anxious or stressed—or even just sitting with poor posture—our breathing tends to become shallow.

Shallow, rapid breathing reduces the amount of oxygen delivered to the brain and body, which can lead to decreased concentration, dysregulation of the autonomic nervous system, and difficulty relaxing or getting restful sleep.

In contrast, slow, deep breathing helps regulate the autonomic nervous system, improving sleep quality, boosting immunity, and supporting overall well-being.

For example, when you’re feeling nervous or anxious before giving a presentation or taking an important exam, you might instinctively take a big, deep breath to calm yourself down. This works because deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helping your body relax and your mind settle.

By focusing on your breath and practicing slow, deep breathing, you can ease stress and gain better control over your emotions.

Let’s Make Deep Breathing Fun

If you notice that your child seems different from usual and may be feeling anxious or tense, try gently encouraging them to take a few slow, deep breaths. Even with younger children, using simple, playful language can help make deep breathing an enjoyable activity.

Here’s how you can do it together:

1. Sit side by side with your child. You can sit cross-legged on the floor or on chairs—whichever is comfortable. Straighten your back and relax your shoulders.

2. As you demonstrate, say something like, “Let’s put our hands on our tummies.”

3. Guide them through the breathing process:

“Take a slow breath in through your nose. Can you feel your tummy puff up like a balloon?”
“Now slowly breathe out through your mouth, like you’re letting the air out of the balloon. Can you feel your tummy going down?”

Repeat this a few times together, keeping your tone calm and encouraging.

4. When you’re done, talk about how it felt: “Do you feel a little calmer now?” or “Next time you feel upset or worried, let’s try this again together.”

Tanden Breathing Technique

Tanden breathing is a method that helps release tension and calm both the mind and body.

The tanden is located about 10 centimeters (roughly 4 inches) below the navel, in the lower abdomen. Unlike regular abdominal (diaphragmatic) breathing, tanden breathing focuses on directing your breath toward this specific area, as if you’re filling it with air.

As you practice, try to mindfully observe each breath—silently noting to yourself, “I’m breathing in” and “I’m breathing out.” By breathing deeply in this way, you can help regulate your autonomic nervous system, improve blood circulation, and even feel a gentle warmth spreading throughout your body.

How to Practice Tanden Breathing

1. Sit cross-legged on the floor in a stable position, keeping your lower body grounded.

2. Straighten your back and gently close your eyes. Place your right hand—or both hands—over your tanden.

3. Focus your attention on the tanden area. Exhale slowly through your mouth, imagining you’re releasing all the air from your body.

4. Inhale slowly through your nose, imagining your tanden gently expanding as it fills with air. Then exhale through your mouth for slightly longer than you inhaled.

Start with about 10 breaths per day, and take it at your own pace without forcing it.

The 4-7-8 Breathing Technique

The 4-7-8 breathing technique is a type of diaphragmatic (abdominal) breathing that involves breathing in a pattern of 4 seconds, 7 seconds, and 8 seconds. By focusing on a slow and steady pace, this method helps engage the diaphragm more effectively.

When the diaphragm—located between the chest and abdomen—moves properly, oxygen can circulate more efficiently throughout the body, promoting better blood flow. This not only stimulates internal organ function but also helps regulate the autonomic nervous system, making it easier to relax.

For best results, find a quiet and comfortable place where you can focus fully and practice without distractions.

How to Practice the 4-7-8 Breathing Technique

1. Gently open your mouth and exhale completely, letting out all the air from your lungs.
2. Slowly inhale through your nose for a count of 4 seconds.
3. Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
4. Exhale slowly and fully through your mouth for a count of 8 seconds.

Repeat this cycle several times, focusing on maintaining a calm and steady rhythm.

Incorporate Your Child’s Favorite Scents

Some children may find it challenging to focus on deep breathing at first. In such cases, introducing a scent they enjoy can help them concentrate and make the practice more pleasant.

For kids who love fruit, try using citrus-based aromas. Sweet orange or mandarin essential oils offer a warm, comforting fragrance that can help create a sense of calm. During the colder months, the cozy scent of warm cocoa before bedtime can also be a wonderful way to set a relaxing mood.

When You Notice Signs of Stress in Your Child, Try Deep Breathing Together

In this post, we introduced calming breathing techniques that even young children can practice, including simple deep breathing, Tanden breathing, and the 4-7-8 method.

Stressors that affect children come in many forms—changes in their environment, relationships with friends, or biological factors like allergies and pathogens. Because young children often aren’t able to put their feelings into words, they may carry stress without realizing it. Unlike adults, children tend to show stress through physical and emotional signs, so it’s important for the adults around them to notice and respond with care.

Try gently suggesting, “Shall we take a few deep breaths together?”—whether it’s in the morning after waking up, before bedtime, or whenever you sense they might be stressed. Over time, your child may even learn to use these techniques on their own at preschool or school, which would be a wonderful step toward self-care.

Why not make deep breathing a part of your daily routine? It’s simple, effective, and can be done anytime, anywhere—to help create a calmer, happier life.

Thank you for reading to the end.