The Bardo: Life’s In-Between States
Quick Summary
- In Buddhist language, bardo means an “in-between” state—any gap where the old has ended and the new hasn’t fully formed.
- People often hear “bardo” and think only of death, but it also points to everyday transitions: after an argument, before a decision, between tasks.
- The bardo lens highlights how quickly the mind fills uncertainty with stories, blame, planning, or numbness.
- These in-between moments can feel uncomfortable because they expose raw experience without a settled narrative.
- Seeing “in-between” clearly can soften reactivity in work, relationships, fatigue, and silence.
- The point isn’t to chase special states, but to notice what is already happening in the gaps.
- “What is the bardo?” becomes less a definition and more a way to recognize transition as part of ordinary life.
Introduction
If you’re searching “what is the bardo,” you’re probably stuck between two unsatisfying answers: either it’s treated as a mysterious after-death realm, or it’s reduced to a vague “spiritual metaphor” that doesn’t help you understand your own mind. The useful meaning sits closer to daily experience: bardo is what it feels like when life is changing and the mind hasn’t decided what the change means yet. This explanation is written for Gassho, a Zen/Buddhism site focused on clear, lived understanding rather than hype.
The word itself points to an interval—an in-between—where familiar reference points loosen. That can happen in obvious transitions like moving, ending a relationship, or starting a new job. It can also happen in small moments: the pause after you send a risky message, the quiet after a meeting ends, the blank second before you answer a question you didn’t expect.
When the mind meets an in-between, it tends to rush to close it. It reaches for certainty, identity, and a storyline: “This is going well,” “This is a disaster,” “They’re against me,” “I’m failing,” “I need to fix this right now.” The bardo lens is less about adopting a belief and more about noticing that reflex to fill the gap.
A Practical Lens on the Bardo
As a way of seeing, bardo points to the space between one moment and the next—especially when the next moment isn’t predictable. It’s not asking you to accept a theory about the universe. It’s pointing to a familiar human experience: the mind dislikes open-endedness, and it tries to convert uncertainty into something solid as quickly as possible.
At work, this can show up when a project changes direction and the old plan no longer fits. There’s a brief interval where you don’t yet know what “success” looks like. In that interval, the mind may tighten, speed up, or start scanning for someone to blame. The bardo here is not the project itself—it’s the unsettled middle where meaning hasn’t stabilized.
In relationships, the in-between can appear after a difficult conversation. The words have been said, but the emotional weather hasn’t cleared. The mind wants a verdict: “We’re fine,” “We’re not fine,” “I was right,” “I was wrong.” The bardo lens notices the urge to force closure, even when the situation is still unfolding.
Even fatigue has an in-between quality. When you’re tired, the usual strategies for managing mood and attention don’t work as well. There can be a raw, slightly exposed feeling—less protected by competence or optimism. In that openness, the mind may reach for quick comfort, distraction, or harsh self-talk. The bardo is that exposed interval where experience is present before it’s packaged.
How the In-Between Shows Up in Ordinary Moments
One of the clearest places to notice bardo is right after something ends. A call finishes. A door closes. A conversation trails off. For a second, there’s no role to perform and no sentence to respond to. The mind often rushes in with a task, a scroll, a snack, a replay of what was said—anything to avoid the unshaped quiet.
Another place is the moment before speaking. Someone asks a question in a meeting, and there’s a brief pause where you could answer honestly, defensively, or strategically. That pause can feel surprisingly intense. It’s not dramatic, but it’s charged: the mind senses risk and tries to choose an identity—competent, agreeable, untouchable—before the words come out.
In conflict, the in-between often arrives after the first surge of emotion. Anger flares, or hurt lands, and then there’s a thin gap where you can feel the body’s heat and the mind’s momentum. In that gap, stories start forming quickly: motives are assigned, histories are rewritten, future arguments are rehearsed. The bardo lens notices how fast a narrative appears to protect the heart from uncertainty.
During routine tasks, bardo can appear as micro-disorientation. You open your laptop and forget why. You walk into a room and pause. You finish one email and hover before the next. These are tiny in-between states where attention is briefly unhooked. The mind often treats them as problems to eliminate, but they can also be seen as simple gaps—unclaimed moments.
Silence is another everyday bardo. Not the peaceful kind you plan for, but the ordinary silence that happens when there’s nothing to say. In a car ride, in an elevator, in the kitchen at night. Silence can feel like relief or like exposure. When it feels like exposure, the mind tends to fill it with commentary: judgments about yourself, worries about tomorrow, a mental highlight reel of mistakes.
Transitions in mood carry the same texture. You’re fine, then suddenly not fine. Or you’re anxious, then there’s a brief easing. In that easing, the mind may immediately search for the next threat, as if calm is suspicious. The in-between is the moment when the old mood loosens but the next mood hasn’t taken over, and the mind tries to regain control by predicting what comes next.
Even small pleasures have an in-between. The last bite of a meal. The end of a song. The moment after laughter fades. There can be a subtle drop, a quiet “now what?” The mind often reaches for the next hit of stimulation, not because anything is wrong, but because the gap is unstructured. The bardo lens simply recognizes that unstructured moment as part of being alive.
Misreadings That Make the Bardo Harder Than It Is
A common misunderstanding is that bardo refers only to what happens after death, as if it’s relevant only to specialists or believers. That framing can make the word feel distant and untestable. But the in-between quality it points to is already familiar: uncertainty, transition, and the mind’s reflex to lock experience into a conclusion.
Another misunderstanding is to treat the bardo as a special, elevated state you’re supposed to reach. That can turn ordinary life into a constant evaluation: “Am I in it yet?” The in-between is not rare. It’s woven into daily rhythms—between messages, between tasks, between feelings—often so quickly that it’s missed.
It’s also easy to assume the in-between should feel peaceful. Sometimes it does. Often it doesn’t. When the mind can’t rely on its usual story, the body may feel restless, the chest may tighten, or the mind may speed up. That discomfort isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a sign that the usual habit of certainty is being interrupted, even briefly.
Finally, people sometimes use “bardo” as a label to explain away messy periods: “I’m in a bardo, so nothing counts.” But the in-between is not a pause button on responsibility or care. It’s simply a description of how experience feels when the next step isn’t settled—and how quickly the mind tries to pretend it is.
Why This View Quietly Changes Daily Life
When bardo is understood as the texture of transition, everyday life looks less like a series of fixed situations and more like a flow of shifting conditions. That shift can make certain pressures feel less personal. A tense week at work becomes not just “my problem,” but a changing field of expectations, fatigue, and uncertainty.
In relationships, the bardo lens can soften the demand for immediate clarity. Not every conversation produces a clean outcome. Sometimes there’s a period where both people are still digesting what happened. Seeing that as an in-between can make the silence less threatening and the urge to force a conclusion less urgent.
In moments of tiredness or overstimulation, recognizing the in-between can reduce the compulsion to fix the feeling instantly. There may be a simple recognition that the mind is reaching for a story—“I can’t handle this,” “I need to escape”—because the present moment is unshaped and uncomfortable.
Even in quiet moments, the bardo perspective can make space feel less empty. The pause between one thing and the next doesn’t have to be filled with commentary. It can be allowed to be what it is: a small opening in the day, neither productive nor wasted, just present.
Conclusion
The bardo is not far away. It is the ordinary in-between where experience has not yet been turned into a story. In that openness, the mind’s habits become visible, and the present moment is quietly enough. What matters is what can be seen in the next pause, in the middle of a normal day.
Frequently Asked Questions
- FAQ 1: What is the bardo?
- FAQ 2: Is the bardo only about what happens after death?
- FAQ 3: What does “in-between state” mean in the context of bardo?
- FAQ 4: Why do people ask “what is the bardo” so often?
- FAQ 5: What is the bardo of daily life?
- FAQ 6: Does the bardo have to feel scary or intense?
- FAQ 7: What is the bardo state of mind?
- FAQ 8: Is the bardo a place or a metaphor?
- FAQ 9: What is the bardo in Buddhism?
- FAQ 10: What is the bardo after death?
- FAQ 11: How is bardo different from ordinary change?
- FAQ 12: What is the purpose of the bardo teaching?
- FAQ 13: Can you be in a bardo during a breakup, job change, or move?
- FAQ 14: What is the bardo experience like moment to moment?
- FAQ 15: Is “bardo” the same as liminality?
FAQ 1: What is the bardo?
Answer: The bardo is an “in-between” state—an interval where one situation has ended and the next has not fully formed. It can refer to major life transitions and also to small, everyday gaps where the mind hasn’t settled on a clear story yet.
Takeaway: Bardo points to transition itself, especially the unsettled middle.
FAQ 2: Is the bardo only about what happens after death?
Answer: Many people associate bardo with the period after death, but the term also points to in-between experiences during life—moments of change, uncertainty, and reorientation. Thinking of bardo only as “after death” can miss how often the same in-between feeling appears day to day.
Takeaway: The bardo idea can be understood through ordinary transitions, not only death.
FAQ 3: What does “in-between state” mean in the context of bardo?
Answer: “In-between state” means a period where the old reference points no longer fit, but the new ones aren’t stable yet. It can feel like ambiguity, openness, or restlessness—often accompanied by the mind trying to force a conclusion.
Takeaway: An in-between state is the gap where meaning hasn’t settled.
FAQ 4: Why do people ask “what is the bardo” so often?
Answer: The word is frequently used in spiritual conversations, but it’s often explained in either overly mystical or overly vague terms. People ask because they want a definition that connects to real experience—what it feels like, and why it matters in daily life.
Takeaway: The confusion usually comes from explanations that don’t connect to lived experience.
FAQ 5: What is the bardo of daily life?
Answer: The “bardo of daily life” is the in-between feeling that shows up between tasks, between conversations, after a decision, or during uncertainty. It’s the moment when the mind hasn’t fully locked onto what’s happening next and tries to fill the gap with planning, worry, or distraction.
Takeaway: Daily-life bardo is the ordinary gap the mind tries to rush through.
FAQ 6: Does the bardo have to feel scary or intense?
Answer: No. Sometimes the in-between feels calm or spacious; other times it feels edgy or uncertain. The intensity often depends on how much is at stake emotionally and how strongly the mind demands certainty in that moment.
Takeaway: Bardo can feel quiet or uncomfortable—both are normal.
FAQ 7: What is the bardo state of mind?
Answer: A “bardo state of mind” refers to the mental atmosphere of transition: not fully anchored, quick to interpret, and often eager to resolve ambiguity. It’s less a special condition and more a recognizable pattern when certainty drops away.
Takeaway: Bardo-as-mind is the mind reacting to openness and uncertainty.
FAQ 8: Is the bardo a place or a metaphor?
Answer: In practical terms, bardo is best understood as a description of experience rather than a physical place. It points to the “between” quality of moments—when the mind is transitioning and hasn’t stabilized its interpretation yet.
Takeaway: Bardo is a way to name a felt interval, not necessarily a location.
FAQ 9: What is the bardo in Buddhism?
Answer: In Buddhism, bardo refers to intermediate states—periods of transition where conditions are shifting and experience can feel less fixed. While some teachings discuss bardos around death, the core idea of “in-between” can also illuminate everyday change and uncertainty.
Takeaway: In Buddhism, bardo names intermediate states where things are not settled.
FAQ 10: What is the bardo after death?
Answer: The “bardo after death” is commonly described as an intermediate period between death and the next phase of existence. People often encounter this idea through texts and cultural explanations, but interpretations vary, and many readers focus on what the concept reveals about transition and mind rather than treating it as a literal travelogue.
Takeaway: The after-death bardo is traditionally an intermediate period, understood in different ways.
FAQ 11: How is bardo different from ordinary change?
Answer: Ordinary change is the fact that things shift; bardo highlights the subjective middle where the mind hasn’t adapted yet. It emphasizes the gap between an ending and a new stability—where reactivity, uncertainty, and story-making become especially noticeable.
Takeaway: Bardo is the felt middle of change, not just change itself.
FAQ 12: What is the purpose of the bardo teaching?
Answer: The purpose is to help people recognize transitional experience clearly—especially the mind’s tendency to grasp for certainty when things are unsettled. As a lens, it brings attention to the “gap” where habitual reactions often take over automatically.
Takeaway: The bardo teaching points to how the mind behaves in uncertainty.
FAQ 13: Can you be in a bardo during a breakup, job change, or move?
Answer: Yes. Major life transitions often have a strong bardo quality because identity, routine, and expectations are in flux. The old life is gone, and the new life isn’t fully formed, which can amplify the mind’s urge to define what it all means immediately.
Takeaway: Big transitions often feel like bardo because the middle is exposed.
FAQ 14: What is the bardo experience like moment to moment?
Answer: Moment to moment, bardo can feel like a pause, a blankness, a slight disorientation, or a restless need to move on. Often it’s followed by the mind quickly producing a plan, a judgment, or a distraction to close the openness.
Takeaway: Bardo often feels like a gap the mind tries to fill fast.
FAQ 15: Is “bardo” the same as liminality?
Answer: They’re closely related in everyday meaning: both point to an in-between phase where roles and certainty are unsettled. “Bardo” is a Buddhist term, while “liminality” is often used in psychology and anthropology, but both can describe the felt middle of transition.
Takeaway: Both words describe the in-between; they come from different vocabularies.