Can You Eliminate Bonno—or Learn to See Them More Clearly?
Quick Summary
- Bonno (mental afflictions) don’t usually disappear by force; they loosen when they’re seen clearly.
- “Eliminating” often means eliminating the compulsion to obey them, not eliminating the mind’s capacity to feel.
- Clarity looks like noticing a reaction early: sensation → story → urge → action.
- Seeing bonno clearly includes kindness: you can name a pattern without shaming yourself.
- Practice is less about perfect calm and more about shorter recovery time after getting hooked.
- Daily life is the real test: conversations, scrolling, deadlines, and disappointment.
- The goal is a steadier relationship to experience—less reactivity, more choice.
Introduction
You’re trying to figure out whether bonno are something you’re supposed to “get rid of,” or whether the more realistic (and honest) task is learning to recognize them as they arise—before they run your day. The confusion usually comes from mixing two different aims: wanting a mind with no difficult states at all, and wanting a mind that isn’t pushed around by difficult states. At Gassho, we focus on practical clarity: what you can actually notice, moment by moment, and what changes when you do.
Bonno is often translated as “delusions” or “afflictions,” but in lived experience it’s simpler: the sticky forces that pull attention into craving, irritation, comparison, defensiveness, and numb distraction. When those forces show up, the question becomes immediate: do you fight them, suppress them, indulge them, or learn to see them clearly enough that they don’t automatically become speech and behavior?
This matters because many people turn “eliminating bonno” into a private war against their own mind—and that war tends to create more bonno: more aversion, more self-judgment, more impatience. A calmer approach is to treat bonno as patterns that can be understood. Understanding doesn’t mean approving; it means seeing the mechanics.
So can you eliminate bonno—or learn to see them more clearly? The most workable answer is: you can reduce their grip by seeing them clearly, and that “reduction” often feels like elimination because the compulsion fades, even if the raw human emotions still arise.
A Clear Lens on Bonno: From “Remove” to “Recognize”
As a lens for understanding experience, bonno can be viewed as automatic strategies the mind uses to seek comfort and control. They’re not “bad thoughts” that shouldn’t exist; they’re conditioned reactions that try to protect you, soothe you, or secure you—often in ways that create more trouble than they solve.
When people ask about eliminating bonno, they often imagine a future state where anger never appears, desire never tugs, and insecurity never whispers. But a more grounded lens is this: what changes is not that the mind becomes blank, but that the mind becomes less compelled. The same triggers can still happen, yet the chain reaction becomes visible—and therefore interruptible.
Seeing bonno clearly means noticing them as events rather than identities. “Anger is here” is different from “I am an angry person.” “Craving is here” is different from “I need this to be okay.” This shift sounds small, but it changes everything: it creates a little space where choice can appear.
In that space, “elimination” becomes a practical word: you eliminate the automatic follow-through. You eliminate the reflex to justify, to lash out, to doom-scroll, to rehearse the same argument in your head. The bonno may still knock on the door, but you don’t have to invite them in and hand them the keys.
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What Seeing Bonno Clearly Feels Like in Ordinary Moments
It often starts quietly. You notice a tightening in the chest while reading a message. Before the mind even forms a sentence, the body has already leaned toward defense or attack. Seeing clearly begins right there: not with a grand insight, but with a simple recognition of tension.
Then the story arrives. “They don’t respect me.” “I’m falling behind.” “This shouldn’t be happening.” The story can feel like truth, but clarity treats it as a mental event: a narrative forming in real time. You don’t have to argue with it; you can just notice that it’s happening.
Next comes the urge. The mind wants relief, and it proposes a quick fix: send the sharp reply, buy the thing, check for reassurance, prove your point, withdraw, distract. Seeing bonno clearly includes seeing the seduction of the urge—how it promises immediate comfort.
In many everyday situations, the most important moment is the half-second where you realize, “If I do this, I will feel better for a moment, and worse later.” That’s not moralizing; it’s just cause and effect. Clarity is the ability to hold that half-second without rushing to discharge it.
Sometimes clarity shows up as naming. Not as a label to push the experience away, but as a way to stop being hypnotized by it: “irritation,” “wanting,” “jealousy,” “restlessness,” “self-criticism.” Naming can make the experience more workable because it turns a fog into something you can relate to.
Sometimes clarity shows up as allowing the physical feeling to be there without immediately turning it into a problem to solve. The heat of anger, the ache of longing, the flutter of anxiety—these can be felt as sensations. When they’re felt directly, they often move and change on their own timeline.
And sometimes clarity looks like a very ordinary choice: you pause before speaking, you ask one honest question instead of making an accusation, you close the app, you take one breath, you wait ten minutes. Nothing mystical. Just a small refusal to be dragged.
Misunderstandings That Make Bonno Harder to Work With
One common misunderstanding is thinking that “seeing clearly” means “feeling less.” In practice, clarity can initially make you feel more, because you’re no longer numbing out or rushing past discomfort. That’s not failure; it’s contact with what was already there.
Another misunderstanding is turning the idea of elimination into self-punishment. If you treat every appearance of anger or craving as proof you’re doing it wrong, you add a second layer of aversion on top of the first reaction. That second layer often becomes the bigger problem.
It’s also easy to confuse suppression with freedom. Suppression can look calm on the surface, but it usually requires tension and control, and it tends to leak out sideways—passive aggression, cynicism, compulsive distraction. Freedom is softer: the mind can host an unpleasant state without needing to clamp down or act out.
Finally, people sometimes assume that if bonno still arise, nothing is changing. But the meaningful shift is often in timing and intensity: you notice sooner, you recover faster, you do less damage, you apologize more quickly, you don’t build a whole identity around a passing state.
Why This Question Matters in Real Life
How you frame bonno determines how you treat yourself. If your goal is total elimination, you may end up in an endless project of self-editing, always scanning for imperfections. If your goal is clear seeing, you can be honest without being harsh.
Clear seeing also changes relationships. When you can recognize defensiveness as it forms, you’re less likely to turn a small misunderstanding into a fight. When you can recognize craving, you’re less likely to make promises you can’t keep—whether that’s spending, overeating, or seeking validation in ways that leave you emptier.
It matters at work, too. Bonno often shows up as urgency, comparison, and the need to be right. Seeing those patterns doesn’t make you passive; it makes you less reactive. You can still act decisively, but with fewer hidden motives and less collateral damage.
And it matters privately, in the moments no one sees: the inner commentary, the rehearsed arguments, the looping regrets. When those loops are seen as loops, they lose some authority. You may still think the thoughts, but you don’t have to live inside them.
Conclusion
If you define success as never having bonno, you’ll likely spend your life disappointed with your own mind. If you define success as seeing bonno clearly—early, gently, and accurately—you’ll start to notice something more realistic: the grip loosens. The mind still produces weather, but you don’t have to build a house inside every storm.
So the practical answer is: you may not be able to prevent every afflictive state from arising, but you can learn to meet it with enough clarity that it doesn’t automatically become speech, action, or identity. That shift is quiet, repeatable, and available in ordinary moments.
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Frequently Asked Questions
- FAQ 1: Can you actually eliminate bonno completely?
- FAQ 2: What does “seeing bonno more clearly” mean in practice?
- FAQ 3: If bonno keep arising, does that mean I’m failing?
- FAQ 4: Is “eliminating bonno” the same as suppressing emotions?
- FAQ 5: How do I tell the difference between a bonno and a reasonable concern?
- FAQ 6: Can you see bonno clearly without trying to get rid of them?
- FAQ 7: Why does naming a bonno (like “anger” or “craving”) help?
- FAQ 8: What if seeing bonno clearly makes me feel worse at first?
- FAQ 9: Is the goal to have fewer bonno, or to relate to them differently?
- FAQ 10: How do I work with bonno in the middle of a conversation?
- FAQ 11: Does “clear seeing” mean I should never act on desire or anger?
- FAQ 12: What’s a simple sign that I’m seeing bonno more clearly?
- FAQ 13: Can self-compassion coexist with the wish to eliminate bonno?
- FAQ 14: Why do bonno feel so convincing when they arise?
- FAQ 15: If I can’t eliminate bonno, what’s the most realistic intention to hold?
FAQ 1: Can you actually eliminate bonno completely?
Answer: In ordinary human life, it’s more realistic to say you can reduce bonno’s grip rather than guarantee they never arise. What often changes most is the compulsion: the same impulses may appear, but you don’t have to follow them into speech or action.
Takeaway: Aim for less compulsion and clearer seeing, not a perfectly “clean” mind.
FAQ 2: What does “seeing bonno more clearly” mean in practice?
Answer: It means noticing the sequence as it happens: a trigger, a body sensation, a story, an urge, and the push to act. Clarity is recognizing that chain early enough that you have options.
Takeaway: Clarity is tracking the process, not judging yourself for having it.
FAQ 3: If bonno keep arising, does that mean I’m failing?
Answer: Not necessarily. Bonno arising is often just the mind doing what minds do under stress, habit, or uncertainty. A meaningful change can be noticing sooner, recovering faster, and causing less harm.
Takeaway: Progress often looks like quicker recognition and gentler recovery.
FAQ 4: Is “eliminating bonno” the same as suppressing emotions?
Answer: No. Suppression tries to force emotions away and usually creates tension or rebound effects. Seeing bonno clearly allows emotions to be felt while reducing reactive behavior driven by them.
Takeaway: Freedom is feeling without being driven, not forcing feelings to vanish.
FAQ 5: How do I tell the difference between a bonno and a reasonable concern?
Answer: A reasonable concern tends to be specific and solvable, and it relaxes when you take appropriate action. Bonno tends to be sticky, repetitive, identity-based (“I must be right,” “I’m not enough”), and it escalates even when you “feed” it.
Takeaway: Look for stickiness and compulsion—those are common bonno signatures.
FAQ 6: Can you see bonno clearly without trying to get rid of them?
Answer: Yes. In fact, the attempt to get rid of them can add extra aversion and self-criticism. Clear seeing starts with allowing the experience to be present long enough to understand it.
Takeaway: Understanding often works better than force.
FAQ 7: Why does naming a bonno (like “anger” or “craving”) help?
Answer: Naming can interrupt identification. Instead of being inside the reaction, you recognize it as a passing mental event. That small shift can reduce urgency and open a pause.
Takeaway: A simple label can create space between you and the impulse.
FAQ 8: What if seeing bonno clearly makes me feel worse at first?
Answer: That can happen because you’re no longer avoiding or numbing the uncomfortable parts. Over time, direct contact often reduces fear of the feeling, which can reduce the need for reactive coping.
Takeaway: Initial discomfort can be a sign of increased honesty, not regression.
FAQ 9: Is the goal to have fewer bonno, or to relate to them differently?
Answer: Relating differently is the more reliable goal. When the relationship changes—less fear, less indulgence, less suppression—bonno often become less intense or less frequent as a side effect.
Takeaway: Change the relationship first; frequency often follows.
FAQ 10: How do I work with bonno in the middle of a conversation?
Answer: Notice body cues (tight jaw, heat, racing thoughts), then slow down: one breath, one clarifying question, or a brief pause before replying. You’re not trying to “win” over bonno; you’re preventing automatic escalation.
Takeaway: In real time, a small pause is often the most powerful form of clarity.
FAQ 11: Does “clear seeing” mean I should never act on desire or anger?
Answer: Clear seeing doesn’t forbid action; it clarifies motivation and consequence. You can set boundaries or pursue goals, but with less reactivity, less self-deception, and less harm.
Takeaway: The issue is compulsion and harm, not the mere presence of strong energy.
FAQ 12: What’s a simple sign that I’m seeing bonno more clearly?
Answer: You catch it earlier: you notice the urge before you send the message, buy the thing, or say the cutting remark. Even if you still act sometimes, the “wake-up moment” arrives sooner.
Takeaway: Earlier noticing is a practical, measurable form of clarity.
FAQ 13: Can self-compassion coexist with the wish to eliminate bonno?
Answer: Yes, if “eliminate” means reducing harm and confusion rather than hating parts of yourself. Self-compassion supports honesty: you can admit what’s happening without collapsing into shame.
Takeaway: Kindness makes clear seeing sustainable.
FAQ 14: Why do bonno feel so convincing when they arise?
Answer: Because they often come with strong body sensations and urgent stories that promise relief or safety. The mind treats urgency as truth. Clear seeing separates urgency from accuracy.
Takeaway: Intensity isn’t the same as truth—notice the difference.
FAQ 15: If I can’t eliminate bonno, what’s the most realistic intention to hold?
Answer: Intend to recognize bonno quickly, feel what’s actually present, and choose the next action with care. Over time, this reduces the “automatic pilot” quality that makes bonno feel like they control you.
Takeaway: A realistic intention is clear recognition plus wiser response.