Exploring Self-Compassion through Tara Brach’s Teachings

Have you ever noticed how harsh your inner voice can be at times?
“You can’t even do this right.”
“Here you go, making the same mistake again.”
Sometimes, the person who’s hardest on us… is ourselves.

In this post, I’d like to share a meditation practice introduced by American meditation teacher and clinical psychologist Tara Brach—a gentle, compassionate approach that centers on self-compassion rather than self-improvement.
Instead of striving to change, she invites us to simply be present with our hearts, just as they are.
In that quiet presence, we may find ourselves reunited with the kindness we’ve always carried within.

Who Is Tara Brach?

A bridge between mindfulness and compassion

Tara Brach has spent over 30 years teaching Buddhist meditation while working as a clinical psychologist.
Her books, Radical Acceptance and Trusting the Gold, have helped countless people soften their self-judgment and reconnect with their own hearts.

At the heart of her teachings lies this simple but profound truth:
Healing begins when we welcome ourselves, exactly as we are, with compassion.
Rather than criticize or reject our experiences, she encourages us to turn toward them with care—even the painful or messy parts. This is the essence of her mindfulness.

What Is RAIN Meditation?

A four-step practice for meeting emotions with kindness

One of Tara Brach’s most well-known practices is called RAIN. It’s an acronym for four gentle steps:

・R – Recognize what is happening within you
・A – Allow it to be there, just as it is
・I – Investigate with gentle curiosity
・N – Nurture yourself with compassion

For example, when you’re feeling anxious:
You might start with, “Oh, I’m feeling anxious right now” (R),
then say to yourself, “It’s okay to feel this” (A),
and ask, “What is it that feels so scary?” (I),
finally placing a hand on your chest and whispering, “I’m here with you. It’s going to be okay” (N).

This simple sequence is the essence of RAIN.

How to Practice RAIN (Tara Brach Style)

A 5–10 minute meditation you can try anytime

Here’s a short version of RAIN you can do at the end of your day:

1. Sit quietly and close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths.
2. Notice what emotion is present within you (R).
3. Allow it to be there, without resistance (A).
4. Feel where that emotion lives in your body, and observe it kindly (I).
5. Offer yourself soothing words, like “You’re okay just as you are” (N).

You don’t have to get it right.
What matters is not “doing it perfectly,” but staying with yourself—with kindness.

The Science of Self-Compassion

Soothing your nervous system by not being hard on yourself

Psychological studies have shown that self-compassion reduces stress and strengthens emotional resilience.
Adding compassion to mindfulness helps regulate the brain’s amygdala—the region linked to fear and anger—and increases the release of oxytocin, the hormone connected to bonding and love.

So when you stop criticizing yourself, it’s not self-indulgence—it’s care for your brain and nervous system.
Practices like RAIN bring gentle healing not just to the mind, but to the body as well.

A Quiet Wisdom from Long Ago

How ancient poetry embraced the self, just as it was

This understanding isn’t new.
Even in ancient times, people found soft, poetic ways to care for their hearts.

Take this Japanese waka poem, for instance:

かくばかり　思ひ乱るる　我なれば
いかにぞ人を　思ひそめてし
(Kokin Wakashū – by Ise)

So deeply is my heart in turmoil—
how could I have fallen in love with someone else?

The phrase “思ひ乱るる我なれば” (as my heart is already so shaken) holds more than sorrow.
It reflects a quiet, accepting gaze upon one’s own messiness and vulnerability—not denying or fixing, but simply being with oneself.

This is the very spirit of Tara Brach’s Radical Acceptance.

To treat emotional turbulence not as a problem to be solved,
but as something to be gently held—that is often the first step toward healing.

In this way, ancient poetry and modern meditation gently meet.
And in that meeting, a deep and enduring kindness unfolds.

Becoming Your Own Ally

When we want to “change ourselves,” it’s often staying with who we are right now that leads us forward.

Try this tonight.
Just three minutes before bed.
Place your hand over your heart, and say to yourself,
“You’re okay just as you are.”

And when morning comes, you might notice your breath feels just a little lighter.

Thank you for reading. May you meet yourself today with kindness.